Kids Ready to Talk About Today's Tough Issues Before Their Parents Are: Sex, AIDS, Violence, Drugs, and Alcohol

New National Survey Finds That Kids In Families Who Talk Openly About Sex and Relationships Are More Likely to Say They Would Turn to Their Parent First if Faced with A Crisis

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MARCH 1, 1999

The "big talk" is bigger than ever with kids wanting to know much more from their parents than just the "birds-and-the-bees." A new survey of parents and kids ages 10-15 conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and Children Now, as part of a national initiative called Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, finds that many families are still waiting too long and not talking enough when it comes to what their kids say they need to know.

What may surprise many parents is that the issues they are not talking about—as well as even some they feel they have already talked about—are what their kids want to know more about. High on a list of topics 10-12 year olds say they personally want more information about are:

How to protect against HIV/AIDS (50% of kids want more information);

What to do if someone brings a gun to school (50% of kids want more information);

How to handle pressure to have sex (44% of kids want more information);

How to know when you are ready to have sex (43% of kids want more information); and

How alcohol and drugs might affect decisions to have sex (43% of kids want more information).

"The Big Talk(s)" About Today's Tough Issues

When parents sit down today with their children to have the "big talk" the subject matter usually covers topics their own parents never imagined. (And, for that matter, it shouldn't just be a single conversation, say experts). At least three out of four parents of 10-12 year olds say they have talked with their pre-teen about drugs or alcohol (90%); violence (85%); drinking and driving (82%); AIDS (78%); and how girls get pregnant (73%).

But, many parents of 10-12 year olds are steering clear of some of the more difficult conversations about sex, including:

How to handle peer pressure to have sex (46% of parents have not discussed);

How to know when you are ready to have sex (50% of parents have not discussed);

How alcohol and drugs might affect decisions to have sex (46% of parents have not discussed); and

How to prevent pregnancy and STDs (62% of parents have not discussed).

"The 'big talk' isn't what it used to be. It now needs to be ‘supersized,’" said Matt James, Senior Vice President, Kaiser Family Foundation. "When parents today talk with their kids about tough issues that means covering the basics, plus a whole lot more."

Experts say that kids benefit when their parents talk early and often with them about "tough issues." For the 57% of parents of 10-15 year olds who have talked openly with their children about sex, including relationships and becoming sexually active, there is some encouraging news.

The survey found their kids were more likely than those whose parents had not talked with them to report going first to a parent ...

If they were dealing with pressure to have sex (72% of 10-15 year olds who talked with their parents vs. 57% who did not);

If they were thinking about having sex (67% of 10-15 year olds who talked with their parents vs. 51% who did not); and

If they were worried about being or having gotten someone pregnant (66% of 13-15 year olds who talked with their parents vs. 49% who did not).

The Competition

According to the survey, pre-teens name their mothers as one of their top sources when it comes to sex, AIDS, violence, drugs and alcohol. But, even among 10-12 year olds, television/movies are already tied with moms and schools/teachers as a place where kids say they get "a lot" of their information (all named by 38%). Fathers come in a close second (34%). When kids enter the teen years, the competition heats up with friends (64%) and television/movies (61%) becoming much more dominant influences in their lives. Schools and teachers rank third (44%) and mothers are fifth (38%), just below the Internet (39%).

"Parents have a powerful window of opportunity if they talk with their children early and often," said Lois Salisbury, President, Children Now. "The Talking With Kids About Tough Issues campaign encourages parents to use everyday activities, including TV programs, events at school and issues with friends, as talk opportunities."

For more information call: Andrea Miller or Susan Lamontagne at Media Strategies, Inc. (212) 260-1520.